Turning Pain into Purpose: My Calling as a Counselor

 I knew I was meant to be a counselor from a young age. It wasn’t just an idea that came to me one day or a fleeting dream of what I could be growing up. It was a calling, one that became clearer as I watched the people around me—family members, friends, and acquaintances—struggle through the painful and often unnecessary hardships of messy divorces. These experiences shaped my understanding of relationships and fueled my desire to help others navigate the complexities of marriage and family life.

What struck me most during these difficult times was how many of these struggles stemmed from a lack of communication and listening. I saw arguments escalate over misunderstandings, resentment builds over unspoken feelings, and walls go up because no one knew how to bridge the gap. Witnessing people who once loved each other deeply become strangers or even adversaries was heartbreaking. But what was even more frustrating was the realization that many of these issues could have been resolved—or even prevented—with some basic tools for communication and a willingness to work through the hard stuff together.

Marriage isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as many make it out to be. It requires effort, patience, and intentionality, especially when life throws challenges your way. But so much of that effort boils down to learning how to talk to and truly hear your partner. It’s about understanding that disagreements don’t have to lead to disconnect and that challenges can strengthen a relationship rather than break it. 

This is why I’m passionate about becoming a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). I want to help couples and families develop the skills to communicate openly, listen without judgment, and approach their relationships with empathy and respect. I want to show them that the “hard stuff” can be an opportunity for growth rather than a sign of failure. And most importantly, I want to create a safe, welcoming space where they feel supported and understood.

Every relationship is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to making a marriage work. However, I firmly believe most couples can overcome the toughest challenges with the right tools and guidance. My goal is to be that guiding presence—to help couples see that they don’t have to go through it alone and that their relationship is worth fighting for.

As I continue my journey toward becoming an LMFT, I carry with me the lessons I’ve learned from the struggles I’ve witnessed. They remind me why I’m doing this and what’s at stake. I hope through my work, I can help others find the strength and clarity to build the kind of relationships they’ve always wanted—ones built on trust, understanding, and a deep commitment to one another.

Payton Blackwood