When Ambition Runs on Overdrive: A Reflection on Unrealistic Expectations

 Life has a way of keeping us busy, doesn’t it? Between being a part-time florist, a full-time student, and a wife and navigating the challenges of chronic illness, I often find myself in overdrive. I thrive on being a go-getter. My mind races at a hundred miles an hour, juggling ten conversations while completing three tasks at once. But recently, I’ve had to take a hard look at how I approach life and, more importantly, the expectations I set for myself and others.

The Weight of Unrealistic Expectations

Let’s face it—we all set goals that are too big at times. While dreaming big is important, setting unrealistic expectations can lead to burnout, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing I can do it all, all the time. But the truth is, even the most driven people need rest. We need boundaries. We need to remember that being human means being imperfect.

What makes this even more challenging is when we project those expectations onto others. Because I can function in overdrive—even when it’s unhealthy—I expect others to match my energy or drive. I’ve been frustrated when they don’t, even though it’s not fair or reasonable. Everyone has their own pace, their own capacity, and their own challenges.

The Downside of Overdrive

As I write this, I’m juggling studying for school, rewatching Grey’s Anatomy for the umpteenth time, texting a couple of friends about their day, and somehow piecing together this blog. It’s a snapshot of my overdrive mentality—but it’s also a reminder of how easy it is for me to pile on too much without even realizing it. When what I should be doing is resting because I’m sick today. But the world never stops turning, and I have 100 things on my to-do list. In reality, those things will still be there tomorrow.

Operating in overdrive may feel productive, but it’s not sustainable. The body and mind need downtime to recharge. Constantly pushing ourselves to achieve, do, and be more can lead to burnout—a state I’m intimately familiar with. When we’re always "on," we rob ourselves of the chance to truly enjoy the moments that matter: a quiet evening with a loved one, a deep conversation with a friend, or even the simple joy of sitting with a good book.

Learning to Set Healthy Goals

Recently, I set a goal to finish my bachelor’s degree in a year and a half. I’ve even created a full-on plan that maps out how to graduate in a year. But lately, I’ve asked myself, "Is this too much?" With such a busy life, can I really achieve everything I expect out of myself? It’s a question that keeps me grounded and reminds me to balance ambition with realism.

I’ve learned that setting realistic, achievable goals doesn’t mean I’m giving up on ambition. It means I’m prioritizing my well-being. It’s about breaking big dreams into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of telling myself I need to finish three tasks by the end of the day, I might focus on just one—and give myself the grace to celebrate that progress.

It’s also about recognizing that others are on their own journeys. Not everyone is wired the way I am, and that’s okay. It’s unfair to expect others to match my pace or approach. By letting go of those expectations, I’ve found more empathy and understanding in my relationships—and, surprisingly, more peace within myself.

A Call to Reassess

If you’re like me and find yourself setting sky-high expectations, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself:

• Is this goal realistic for where I am right now?

• Am I allowing myself the time and space to rest?

• Am I unfairly expecting others to meet my standards?

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is slow down. To remind ourselves that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. That it’s okay to let some things go.

Embracing Imperfection

At the end of the day, life isn’t about how much we accomplish. It’s about the connections we make, the lessons we learn, and the joy we find in the journey. By releasing the pressure of unrealistic expectations, we open ourselves up to a life that is fuller, richer, and more authentic.

So here’s to giving ourselves—and others—a little more grace. Let’s dream big but move forward at a pace that nourishes rather than depletes. And let’s remember: sometimes, just being is enough.

Payton Blackwood